Journey to Fatherhood🌹

When I came to I was in a white room,air filled with smell of medicines just like that of a chemist or pharmacy, when I turned to my side there I saw my mom all in tears, what a dreadful site. She was on the phone with her tone very low, she kept wiping tears off her face but they kept on rolling and rolling down her face. What have I done!; Love is not for the faint hearted,perfect relationships only appear in televisions, couples fight and argue all the time, there is no perfect, there will always be struggle, you just have to pick who you want to struggle with🌹.

As I struggled to sit up,I coughed up blood once more,staining the hospital sheets and blanket. Mom quickly rushed to my aid, helped me sit up. I tried to explain and be sorry but all she did was hush me and hugged me telling me everything will be alright,she handed me my phone and went to tell the doctors I was up. On opening my phone the first message I saw was from my Babey since she is always pinned you know.’Don’t do this to me,we still need you,don’t die out on me like this'(shortened text there was more to it than this.) After going through a few statuses that’s when it dawned on me half of the town knew about the stupidity I had done.

Mom came in accompanied by the doctor with two nurses at his aid,after cross examining me that’s when he let me know I had only a few minutes to live if it were not for my mom’s effort and rescue. How could I live with my mom knowing that her son was to take his own life.

On our way back home I received a couple of texts, but I didn’t even want to reply to any, I was embarrassed and disgusted by myself,I decided to take a nap on the back sit, I was still coughing up blood but it would end after a while the doctor said. My phone buzzed to life,it was a text from my beautiful Claudia,’What did you do to yourself? Did you cut yourself? Talk to me! Why did you do this?’ I explained my self and told her the reason as to why.

This was my toughest month, I was being handled like an egg, can’t even lock my door when changing my clothes thinking I would re do what occurred before. A few weeks passed we were heading into September. One day she texted me all happy, I thought something fishy was about to happen but she then dawned the news to me,’We are expecting’,ever felt joy in your heart so sweet you just find everything so calming even when someone is doing you wrong?

There she was standing right in the middle of our door way, I let her in and offered her a glass of water which she turned down. There we were in the middle of the rainstorm silent. Maybe she had just come to shelter herself from the rain, I thought to myself (the most uncomfortable scenario that ever happened to me). I walked myself to the kitchen to at least ease the tension,got my phone out and started going through some vacant online remote jobs, there was move at the doorway, I thought to myself maybe its the wind blowing against the curtains, it happened the second time again and I could not assume it, when I got my eyes up from the phone there she was right in front of me staring,she flashed a smile.

“Can I ask you something?” She uttered as she sat on the slab next to me, “Do you think you’re the only one she loves? Do you think where she is right now she’s not seeing anyone else? Are you sure she’s even in Nairobi?” She added. There I was defending my sweet beautiful Claudia just like I always do, but at the back of my mind the questions kept stirring round and round, this was one of her friends telling me all these, just like the argument the rain was also getting intense, so I just kept quiet and looked at her as she kept on talking to herself while my mind plunged to despair. Before I even realized she had shifted position and she was not bolted in front of me,”Do you love her?” She asked, before I could even deny she had already leaned in and planted a peck on my left cheek. Shocking as it is I still knew her intentions weren’t right,she made her way back to the living room. As I sat there tempted and broken, thinking of whether there’s truce in whatever she said,I didn’t notice the rain coming to a pause,there they were my brothers, making stories as they entered the house,as I went to tell them who the visitor was,what we found was very absurd and just low to the society and rules of life,she was half naked there standing at the door way asking my brothers who they were, how I could I convince them there was nothing between the me and the girl when they had already met at such a scenario.

I was lucky enough to have saviours like them I let them in and told the girl to excuse us we are to leave for town since there was no lunch,she insisted on staying behind but her intentions were clearly laid out, she was out to destroy. Embarrassed as she was, she wore her put on the rest of her clothes and we left making sure the door was locked behind us. She took a motorbike and left us strolling down the slope to town.”Thank you for embarrassing me in front of your friends,I try to make you happy but all you think of is that girlfriend of yours.” Her text flew in,this was enough proof to convince my brothers I had not even laid a finger on her. There we were at the mall making fun of the girl as we had lunch but I was feeling this type of pain inside me,or was it what she said that was causing the pain.

Days had passed now,I had not heard from the girl,but what she said was chewing me up. I started getting angry and upset,till now all I had was nothing but suicidal thoughts,I was ready to lose it all for living a false relationship, I took my phone and decided to ask Claudia about it before I made any other move. I was in pain and disbelief not knowing asking her all these was causing her pain too, I was questioning her trust and loyalty, she went cold on me for a week straight.

I didn’t know what to do,who to ask for help,I was tearing in day by day,then I decided this was the day. I took some aqua pills and plunged a handful in my mouth and swallowed,in a few minutes time I was on the floor coughing up blood asking myself was it really worth it,was my life to end this way,I saw the room spin for one more time then everything turned dark……………………………………………

To be continued……………….

It’s a weekend be happy

As beautiful as the clouds,Claudia was her name,my girl,she was acting all different, she just mentioned of visiting at their cousins place in Kisumu,it was now a week,gone down the drain,I haven’t seen her. Paranoia was eating the better part of me,I decided to share it to one of our friends only to find out my Babey already travelled to Nairobi,she was only going to be there for a while(But who am I to question her decision and I haven’t even paid her dowry yet,as much as it angered me I just had to swallow the bitter pill and understand the situation since Nairobi was also her home.)

Now with the distance between us,we started having fights here and there,it was now the second month since she travelled,I tried to befriend some of her friends in order to understand what is really happening with my girl. Through the process one became a good friend,she would call and ask how I was faring on,at least I had someone to ask what’s really bothering my Babey but the answers I got back were never convincing, rather they were very displeasing. I was not ready to give up on the love of my life, it was now scratching the better end of the first week of the third month since she travelled.

One morning as me and my clique(Bright, Clinton and Joel),we had just woken up trying to figure out who would go to the shops for breakfast a text message buzzed my phone to life,”However much I tried to get your attention,you always seem to focus on her.”This was the so called friend to my Babey,she was eyeing me out. I was surprised, shocked would be the right word, I showed the text to my so called brothers from different mothers,they just busted out and they decided we take breakfast as we think on what to answer her. There on the road four young men discussing on what should be the response to this one text from my Babey’s friend as we were heading to a small cafe down the road next to the current General teaching and referral hospital

Full of stories it was now heading to noon,we were still having breakfast,my phone was dying and there were some clouds gathering. I left my lunch ordered as I rushed back to the crib to get my charger and unhang some of the clothes that were out,after doing so I took some hoods for me and the boys knowing we won’t be back anytime soon since it was a weekend,as I was closing the steel door I noticed a bike pulling up at the gate,this girl was relentless even after leaving her text on read(blue tick).

She was in a white booty short,black tank top,an army green half puff jacket,black cowboy boots,black shades and a black minute maid tumbler loosely held in her hand,she was stunning I guess. She won’t be staying for long she said…………………………………………aluta continua

“I didn’t choose you,I just looked at you and realised there’s no going back”,(the line that started my journey to fatherhood) I told her as we sat on the bed,two young adults madly in love, in a private room,in Kenya, (I know you all know what happened from there) one thing led to another as […]

Genesis:

“I didn’t choose you,I just looked at you and realised there’s no going back”,(the line that started my journey to fatherhood) I told her as we sat on the bed,two young adults madly in love, in a private room,in Kenya, (I know you all know what happened from there) one thing led to another as […]

Genesis:

“I didn’t choose you,I just looked at you and realised there’s no going back”,(the line that started my journey to fatherhood) I told her as we sat on the bed,two young adults madly in love, in a private room,in Kenya, (I know you all know what happened from there) one thing led to another as I looked deeper and deeper into her eyes hoping soon I’d find answers to our equation.

Our phones were on silent mode, it was something we did when we needed our space and time. Her phone buzzed to light,17+ missed calls from her mother,she quickly got dressed no time to even say goodbye. I phoned the new taxis in town(wasili cab),in no time she was at the comfort of her home with just a few quarrels from her mother.

It was now a weeks time of not getting to see one another,just texting and calling, she was travelling to Nairobi, without even telling me,I just got the news from one of our friends. She was acting strange lately,all secretive and shy . One evening she decided to pay me a visit at our crib in Milimani,she was in a beautiful white dress with colorful flower embroideries and a pink hood on top,she just kept on smiling as I asked few questions here and there. With what occurred last time this round I made sure she was home early enough to escape her moms tongue.

More to come………………